running buddy

This morning I went running with my friend. I needed to get out, despite the below freezing temperature, 25 mph winds, and wind chill of 10 degrees F. She and I have run together before, but it's not that often. We agreed to run together last night, but we hadn't set a desired pace or time- something that is often decided before my running group runs.

Today we set out, talking at first and keeping pace with each other. She was driving the pace and a little bit into it I started to feel heavy and sluggish. She either didn't notice or was content to keep her pace so that we were no longer running side by side. I ran along, secretly wishing that today was different- that while she knew that she could run ahead and I'd be fine, today she wanted to keep up the conversation and run with me. I knew that I could push my pace to keep up with her, but I honestly didn't feel like it today. I knew that I'd be uncomfortable, would exert more energy than I really wanted to, and that I wouldn't really keep up the conversation after all because of the increased effort. So I kept my slower pace and tried to enjoy running with her in close proximity, but not truly with her.

Towards the end of the run, after she had waited for me to catch up (for the third time) I reaffirmed to her that she could run on ahead. I apologized for holding her back. She said that she didn't feel like I was holding her back. Usually when people say that, it's on runs when we're running side by side but one runner is keeping pace with the other in order to have the company, not because it's a comfortable pace. Today it seemed like she was saying she felt the freedom to run on ahead despite my slower pace. I didn't bother trying hint at the fact that I'd love to be running side by side, keeping conversation up.

Ultimately, I enjoyed the run and it served its purpose. Did she and I run together? That's arguable. You could say we happened to run at the same time in the same area. I could have changed the dynamics by simply starting the run with a pace/distance discussion and then by also expressing to her while she was running on ahead that today I really wanted to talk to her during our run and actually run together- I'm sure she would have had no pressure. I thought about this during the run- how applicable this is to other aspects of life and relationships. How often is it that we press on ahead, assuming we have the freedom and blessing to do so, when in reality the other(s) are taking it at their pace, are falling behind, and really just want us to drop back and run with them?

Point taken, believe me.