ghana

The year was 2005 and I had just finished my junior year of college.  I was studying nutrition, to become a dietitian.  During my summer break, I wanted to give back with my nutrition expertise so I sought out a volunteer medical team that was open to having nutrition as a part of the services offered in the mobile clinics.  We were mostly all aspiring medical professionals in various stages of preparation, and it was a great experience- 3 weeks traveling to the most remote parts of Ghana to conduct mobile medical clinics.  I'll venture to say that, while I know the Ghanaians we served benefited from our clinics, the individuals on the medical team may have gained more as it has continued to impact us as we've pursued our educations, made decisions about our careers, and changed how we think about health, healthcare delivery, and the world.  Little did I know that this experience would lead me to set a goal that I have just now achieved, 9 years later.

From a nutrition perspective, it was very frustrating- the Ghanaians didn't show up to the clinic for nutrition information.  No, they came for the gaping and infected wound, or their child stricken with malaria.  I had done a lot of research on what Ghanaians eat, what foods would be available to them, and what their nutritional needs were.  Somewhat naively I thought I would really be helpful.  But, by nature of their daily life, the Ghanaians cannot be prevention-minded.  It does not make sense to spend extra money today on food that provides better nutrition, only for the returns of that investment not being evident until perhaps months and years down the road.  I don't fault them.  But it was my first taste of what it means to be a nutrition professional and have valuable, even life-saving information, yet it not be accepted by those you hope to help.  I ended up doing many other things at the clinics that I really wasn't trained for- I worked in the pharmacy, triage, wound care, and even shadowing in the exam areas.  I saw health conditions and injuries I likely will not see again.  And I loved all the blood and guts.  I realized that I desired to be a dietitian and more.  I wanted the care I provide people to be physically tangible.  And so began the journey to becoming a nurse practitioner.

When you study nutrition, you can make the choice to stop with a bachelors degree, which gives certain career options, or you can continue on to do a dietetic internship and take exam to become a registered dietitian, which provides many more career options.  I decided early on that I wanted to become a dietitian, no matter what other career choices I made, so I went through the application process and matched with UCSF Medical Center.  It was an honor to train at a top medical institution, and my experience during that year largely shaped the dietitian I am today.  It also was when I solidified my desire to be a NP.  Prior to this, I had thought I would become a physician assistant- I had all the prerequisites and it would only take me 2 additional years of school.  However, I worked with many NPs who made me think twice about the role I wanted to play.  I realized that becoming a NP was more in keeping with the kind of patient care I want to provide.  So I began to weigh my options in terms of how to become one.  At one point, when I was in college and deciding to change my major, my mom told me she thought I would be a good nurse.  I remember laughing to myself and telling her that I wasn't interested.  Now I look back and smile.

Still, I knew that I wanted at least one year of experience under my belt as a dietitian to really solidify my skills.  At the time I finished my internship year, the economy was just starting to get shaky.  We interns were advised to apply to any job that we thought we were even remotely qualified for and interested in.  So, I aimed at what I felt was an impossible option- a job on the eating disorder unit at Lucile Packard Children's Hospital.  Not only did I not have the either 2 years of pediatric nutrition experience as a dietitian nor a masters degree required, but I really had no particular interest nor experience in eating disorder treatment.  But, I interviewed well and got the job.  Yet again, little did I know how much the 10 months I spent in that job would impact my career choices.  I started applying to nursing schools shortly after taking the job, and my acceptance to Emory was the reason why I left.  At this point, I had aspirations to work in Emergency Medicine- you know, back to the blood and guts.  I figure that as a pretty even keel person I'd do well in the fast-paced environment and get to see a lot of cool stuff.  But I also had a new-found passion for working with teenagers, especially those with eating disorders, and wasn't sure how to put the 2 together.

The move back to where I grew up, Atlanta, was not an easy one for me.  Truly, those first 6 months were some of the toughest of my life for many reasons.  I wasn't even through nursing school orientation before I was questioning my desire to be a nurse entirely.  Yes, I almost quit to go to medical school but ultimately decided that I was not in a stable place to make that kind of decision.  I told myself to ride it out for 2 years and that once I was a RN I could decide if I still wanted to be a physician instead of a NP.  My roommate at the time, herself a MD, told me on many occasions that if I could avoid going to medical school, I should.  I was privileged to be able to work part-time while I was in school, both at Children's Healthcare of Atlanta and at 2 different eating disorder clinics.  These jobs continued to confirm my passion for working with teenagers and in the field of eating disorders.  Yet I hadn't lost the desire to work in the ED- in fact, my classmate Josh and I were voted most likely to end up working in the ED when we graduated nursing school.  So I specifically sought out a new graduate RN program in a ED.

Georgetown University Hospital accepted me as their only new grad that cycle, and I moved to DC.  Those 6 months of orientation, working in the ED, were the toughest I've experienced in any job.  The reasons were many, but at the end of that time, they ultimately decided to transfer me to another department in the hospital.  Ultimately I don't think I couldn't have made it as an ED RN somewhere, but it was not the right place at that time for me.  Thankfully my new unit was an incredible place to heal and grow as a RN, and the year and a half I spent working with such an incredible team of co-workers largely shaped the nurse I am today.  I did some consulting work as a dietitian here and there in DC, but nothing with teenagers or eating disorders.  I did try to stay active in related professional organizations, though, which has been richly rewarding.  And I knew that I'd not lost the desire to be a NP, so I applied to grad school, only looking at schools who had Leadership Education in Adolescent Health (LEAH) training.  I guess 3rd time's a charm, because I finally was admitted to UCSF after having been denied twice before entering nursing school.

Ending up at UCSF felt surreal, since it was a school I'd wanted to attend for, at the time, 4 years.  Contrary to my family's belief, I don't love being in school.  I like learning, and I like what the education affords, but I can't say I loved the academic aspect of my last 2 years.  And there was a lot about going to school full-time and working night shifts part-time that was challenging.  But I can say that I received a great education, had wonderful clinical experiences, and feel like I am prepared to continue learning and growing for the rest of my NP career.  It was an incredible honor to graduate last month with my masters, a feat for which I have so many to credit in the process.  Earlier this week my NP license was processed, so I can officially call myself a nurse practitioner.  Today, I took my board exam and (preliminarily) passed.  I think the order of go is something like this:
Kortney Parman, RD RN MS FNP-C.

As I have (briefly) reflected over the journey I've been on to attaining this goal, I have so much to be thankful for.  It has been a road with many ups and downs, all which have helped to shape who I am becoming.  And, as they say hindsight is 20/20, I can't help but think of many times when I was rerouted for the better.  I'm still in awe of how God used and is using my short-sighted desire to travel to Ghana 9 years ago to bring me to this place, ready to impact lives in tangible and intangible ways.

"The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet."  -Frederick Buechner