debilitating nostalgia

I came home on a red eye from San Francisco this morning, still reeling in all that I experienced in the last 5 days. I'm so glad that I was able to go out there. The sleepless nights on the front end and back end of the trip were totally worth it to see my close friends, relish in the beauty of indian summer in the Bay Area, and process through some tough questions.

I was asking God for specific things for this trip: for insight, for restoration, and for perspective. I believe He answered me and then some. I didn't expect to come home with more to chew on then when I left, but that's definitely been the case. I had been bracing myself that the city, my friendships, and my experiences out there would feel dramatically different and that maybe I wouldn't even like them as well. But this was not what I experienced. Yes, it's obvious I've been gone 5 months, and life has continued without me, but I think I was able to pick up where I left off. I was able to see some of the things that have held me back in making this transition. I believe that there was some restorating of friendships. And I think that I have gained more perspective on this whole process.

One of the new roommates at my old place has a type writer. It sits in the living room, waiting for anyone to type something of brilliance or to simply barf their thoughts onto paper. While typing this weekend, my close friend and former roommate coined the phrase "debilitating nostalgia" to describe the effect she hopes this trip won't have on me. It's a valid concern- that my trips back "home" to SF hit the reset button and return me afresh to a difficult transition back into life in Atlanta. I've even felt at times like the college kid who's always returning home on the weekends and never establishes himself at school. But I'm hopeful that instead of being debilitating, the nostalgia from the trip challenges me to dig deeper in Atlanta and to continue seeking the answers to the questions this transition has stirred up.