dejavu

I'm not sure why this is, but I find myself repeating the same offense. Each time I resolve to not allow myself into the same situation, but it happens. It's not really like I'm doing something wrong. In fact, I feel like a passive participant, but I'm allowing myself to be more emotionally available than I want to be. I know I'm speaking in vague terms, but suffice it to say that it's about boundaries. I find it easier than I expected to let down my guard and allow someone who is showing me attention to act on a certain comfort level that I'm not necessarily at. Last night it was cause of someone else's discomfort, and that was awkward. It made an innocent bystander assume an established relationship and feel like a third wheel. Just great. And there's not an established relationship, by the way. Not even the start of one. From my perspective, it was simply a capitalization on one person's attraction and the other person's acceptance of attention. I need to act in every situation at the level of comfort I'm at and not allow someone else's actions to instantly propel me to a different comfort level without my feelings leading. I need to be not be passive and allow the attention but be active and reset the comfort level on my terms. For someone who feels so strongly that romantic affection should come from established feelings and not simply an in-the-moment whim, you'd think I'd be better at this.