lately

This weekend I didn't have to work. I didn't go out of town. I was really thankful for the lack of planned things to do. Gotta love spontaneity as well as being non-productive at times. I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday, and we are both finishing up the semester- she's completing her masters which involves even more work than what I'm doing- and we are kind of putting the social life on simmer for right now. I told her how silly it is that sometimes I think that I have to go out some weeknights and on weekends to feel connected socially. If I'm honest, there's still some residual "I want to be cool and appear to have it together" attitude from middle school going on. I mean the "if you're not out on a Saturday night that's crazy" feeling. Ridiculous.

After class on Friday, I had a meeting with some fellow classmates, professors, and some students from other schools to discuss forming ways we can be a voice against the things we see in the hospitals that aren't safe for patients- how to improve health care. One of my friends and I were talking afterwards and he was going to hang out with my old roommates at their place, so I tagged along. It's funny how many memories and emotions flooded me when I walked through the door of my old place. It seems like so long ago, and yet not. I've come a long way since last May. We kicked it around the house for a little while and then we ate at Tesoro. I like trying new places, and this was recommended, but as far as Latin flavors and service goes, I think there are better places. I split with them and went to Eddie's Attic where some of my other friends were hanging out. One of our friends was playing and it was fun to hear him perform. The place was packed, and I know now why people like the venue- it was pretty cozy.

Saturday morning I was lazy about getting up. I met a friend of mine who goes back to my freshman year of high school. She's older than me, now married, and just had their first kid. I hadn't seen her since June, so we caught up for several hours. I have to say, what a valuable time. A month ago I started seeing a psychologist. My motivation was two fold: 1. how can I tell my mom and my patients that they should give therapy a try if I haven't myself and 2. what if there's something I can be doing now to be proactive so that I don't end up as depressed as my mom is. So I've gone 4 times, and after the first session I really have felt like I walk away with nothing new. Everything we talk about I've either processed through internally or out loud with someone else before. This past week I was very honest with her and my psychiatrist about how I don't feel like I'm benefiting. I said that it may be a premature assumption, but at the same time, it's expensive and I want to go because I feel like it's beneficial, not because I feel like I can't break up with my therapist because it's just not working. Talking with Nadia on Saturday morning was more beneficial than all 4 sessions with my therapist and it was free. I think I'll be making a phone call tomorrow to cancel with my therapist.

I talked my friend Lauren into accompanying me to my bi-annual trip to the DeKalb Farmer's Market, which isn't really a farmer's market in the outdoor booth, different vendors concept. No, it's an indoor glorified international grocery store. It's great for many unusual things that you can't find elsewhere, but I can't shop there on a regular basis. It was time to stock up, though, and I think everyone else in DeKalb County thought so, too. Yeah, what would you expect on a Saturday. It was fun introducing Lauren to the craziness and wading through all the crowds. We were actually fairly efficient.

Lauren and I attempted to study for a little while, then I took her home and went for a run in Piedmont Park. I didn't spend any time there in the first 9 months I was back in ATL, but in the last 2 months I've been there quite a bit. It's no Golden Gate Park, but it's fun to be among all the different groups of people. Definitely makes for great people watching.

I cooked, cleaned, did laundry, and a little bit of school stuff on Saturday night and then I couldn't fall asleep to save my life. Sunday morning I went to the church Nadia and her husband Jeff are on staff at. I've decided it's time for me to move on from the church I've been going to. It's just doesn't fit where I am in life right now. So I'm hopeful that their church will, but if not, the church hopping has begun.

I played touch rugby on Sunday in the overcast, drizzle, sunny, overcast afternoon. It's a great game. I started playing with a group of people about 3 months ago and while I can't make it out all of the time, I went for both practices this week and think I'm catching on. I have to say it's been one of the most enjoyable experiences learning a sport I've had because everyone is so encouraging and helpful. They answer my questions and coach me while we're playing. No one gets frustrated with my lack of skills or understanding because they know they were once there. And they still pass to me etc. I'm really glad that it's giving me a competitive outlet and a way to meet lots of different people.

Sunday night I had my honors research class over for a potluck. We talked about, among other things, our futures in nursing. I guess I assumed I'd never feel the need to get my doctorate. I just don't care that much about the letters behind my name. But it was the second time this weekend that someone had mentioned the Doctorate of Nursing Practice (DNP) degree. I have to say that it's gained my interest. It's a new degree so many are holding their breath to see what comes of it, but it may be where advanced practice nursing is headed. If I did a DNP program, I could finish it in 3 years and still be a nurse practitioner, but also have my doctorate that hopefully would open up more doors. We'll see. It never ceases to amaze me since coming back to school how many options are out there that hadn't even crossed my mind. And I didn't know to ask about...

Today was the first day I was assigned 2 patients in clinical. What a nice encouragement- that I'm making headway as a nursing student and can juggle the care of more than one person. I'd say that's a good thing, considering I'm halfway through nursing school in less than a month.

Sunday's Easter. I'm trying to be mindful of all that entails this week. I'll be celebrating with my family on Saturday night and am looking forward to the old traditions and breaking my Lenten fast. But I'm also trying to see Easter for what it truly means for my faith and how those of other faith traditions view the holiday.