it goes both ways

I've had a lot of things in the past month that I wanted to write about but just never sat down to do it (obviously). I have a test on Friday and finals next week so I probably should be studying or doing something school related. Still, I wanted to take some time tonight to reflect and write because it's been so long since I've posted.

This past week was full. I didn't have school, but I did accomplish a fair amount for school on Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday I spent most of the day dealing with my car and unexpected expenses (maybe I need to start purposefully budgeting for car repairs based on my track record). Thursday I ran the Atlanta half marathon with 2 of my good friends, went home to play touch football with the old gang who were back in town, and then hung out with my family. My grandma and uncle didn't join us, although it is tradition for my mom's side of the family to be together. That was a little sad. Still, we decorated the Christmas tree and generally relaxed, so it was nice. Friday I worked and went to a party that night. Saturday I worked, hosted a dinner party, and pulled an all-nighter out and about. Sunday I worked (yes, I'm crazy), cleaned the house, chilled out, and went to church. It was a really fun time and too much of a teaser for the winter break I'll start at the end of next week.

This week also made me think about a lot of things. In the last 2 days I've been reflecting on one thing in particular. I took a stand this weekend that I've taken many times before. However, no one has ever called me out on it like my friend did. At the time, I didn't really think much of it. He stated that my stance made him think about things from a different perspective, which he appreciated. Still, I didn't think much about how my taking a stance affected him, even when he asked me some very fair questions in response. As I've been reflecting on it, I've broadened it to more situations beyond the one I found myself in this weekend. I'm realizing that I need to re-examine some of my personal convictions and preferences, how I communicate them to others, and consider how upholding my convictions or preferences affects others. It's one thing to have made up my mind on an issue, but if my actions and body language don't suggest this then I'm essentially deceiving others.

It's as if a friend asks me to go see a movie. I know that I'm probably not going to be comfortable seeing the movie my friend will choose. Still I agree to go anyway without expressing my concern. When I get to the theater my friend chooses a movie that I'm not comfortable seeing and I refuse to see it. I suggest another movie that I'd like to see. We go to see my movie, though my friend would have rather seen the other. As a friend, I should have expressed upfront my reservations about seeing certain movies before I agreed to go. That way my friend could have made the decision to go with me, knowing that the movie choices would be limited, or to find someone else to go who wouldn't care what movie they see.

It's ok for me to have personal standards. What isn't ok is for me to not give any consideration to how my standards will affect someone else who doesn't necessarily uphold the same. If my actions and my non-verbal communication bely the stance I will take or preference I will have, then I need to examine how I can change this. If I expect others to allow me to make choices about what I will and won't do, it goes both ways. I should allow them to have fair warning about what I will choose.