rain on my parade

Yesterday it rained what seemed like a lot. It was one of those days when you welcome it, though. I had worked and played hard this week up until yesterday so I was in the mood to stay in. We were going to have rugby practice regardless, and it's always more fun in the rain. Plus, it had been at least a month since I'd been out to practice, so slipping around in the mud somewhat covers up the rustiness of the skills I claim to have.

After I cleaned up from basically rolling around in the mud, I tried to work on my grad school application to UCSF. Yes, I'm applying for round 3. Not sure what will happen, but after a conversation I had with a NP while I was out there last, I think it's reasonable to try for this fall as opposed to next. Anyway, I didn't get very far on the application because I instead looked at several hospital websites out there and other places to see what kind of jobs are posted right now. Not that I'm able to apply to any, seeing as how the earliest I'm available is end of May. But, I wanted to get the lay of the land. The truth is that I've got my first nursing job interview in 2 weekends in D.C. and I'm not sure what to think. There's a strong likelihood that it will end up in an offer. This summer I would have said yes for sure. D.C. seems like a fun place to live, it's a year's commitment, a great organization, and a wonderful opportunity. And a guaranteed job, whereas after this I'm not sure what's available and what I'll be offered. Still, do I want to be in D.C.? I don't know. NYC has a definite draw, but then SF always calls to me. Just tonight the city was mentioned and my heart jumped. I don't know what it is about that place... It seems there are more reasons than ever to return.

I was talking to my grandma today. She's overwhelmed with bills etc that my grandpa was taking care of before he died. Now she's trying to make sense of it all and is barely keeping her head above water according to her. I don't envy her at all- I can't even imagine. She always talks practically and tells me that I shouldn't move to such expensive places until I get my feet under me. (She also tells me I shouldn't travel so much while I'm in school, but I think it's partially responsible for my sanity). I, on the otherhand, remember that I made it work for less than minimum wage for the first year I was out there and loved every minute of it, seldom feeling deprived. So, differing perspectives but I wonder at times if she's right and I'm too short-sighted. Maybe I do need to think more about cost of living. Still, I still love what I love.

Why would I turn down a great offer? Why wouldn't I hold out for what I think I want more?