raw

com·mu·ni·ty

kəˈmyo͞onitē

noun

1. 1.

   a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common.

   "Rhode Island's Japanese community"
2. 2.

   a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.

   "the sense of community that organized religion can provide"

   
   

I've been having lots of conversations lately about the latter definition of community- what it is, how the word holds different meanings in different contexts, how everyone experiences community a little differently, and how often our expectations of community are not the same, even discordant.  I think, if we're honest, all of us long for community.  I would go so far to say that we were created for community, but some may disagree, even on the point that we're created beings.

I've had some very strong communities in my life.  My current situation is no different- I have friends who go the distance for me.  But I'd also say that I don't have a very cohesive community.  No, it's more like many different communities that each provide varying amounts of what I long for in a community.  There's nothing inherently wrong with this.  Still, I do have a desire for one group to meet most of what I understand a healthy, functional community to be.  Maybe it's realistic.  Maybe it's not.  I guess when you've tasted in before, it's a flavor you don't soon forget.

Bringing this down a level, I feel like this then begs the question of what can be expected of individual relationships.  How open, honest, and vulnerable can we be with one another?  Who is it appropriate to "go there" with?  How do you get to the point where you feel comfortable to "let it all hang out" with someone?  And what is their responsibility in that once you do?

I'm often the person who wears myself on my sleeve.  I have and probably will continue to share too much and go too deep with too many people who neither want to go there with me or are incapable.  Sometimes I think of this as a fault.  Sometimes I think of this as neutral.  Once in a while I think of it as a benefit.  But I guess because as many times as I've been open and vulnerable and feel like I'm on that level with someone, it often proves fruitless or a poor harvest.  But then, that is looking for what I gain for this, not the other person or community as a whole and that is a whole new topic- investing in community without personal gain.

My heart is rather raw today.  I'd say it's due to openness, honesty, and vulnerability gone right.  Despite the pain I feel, I can be thankful for someone else who gets it.  Who's not afraid to express himself, where he's at, and be real with himself and others even when it's not easy or comfortable.  And this is the risk that we take- that being in community and opening ourselves to others, while it generally has an overall positive effect, can sting a bit.  Being in community doesn't instantly provide best friends or life partners, and sometimes never will.  But the journey and growth, both personally and corporately, is invaluable.