I got the call on Monday morning. Sandra and I were driving to Boulder from Denver. I should have recognized the area code as D.C. but I didn't. It was the nurse manager who had interviewed me and he offered me the job. I was pleased, yet I told him that I wanted to come shadow for a day if possible (they had already offered that option). He said that it was fine, just that it needed to be done soon so they could make another offer if in fact I didn't take the job. Then he put me through to the nurse recruiter who had interviewed me.
She didn't answer but called me back yesterday. We talked for a little while and I was honest with her. It's too expensive for me to get back up there in the next 2 weeks. I told her the considerations for me: the 2 year commitment (fair, but I'm not sure I want to), it's not a trauma center, no nurse practitioners work in the emergency dept there, and it's not the safety net hospital in D.C.- you know, where everyone goes to be treated who can't get treatment anywhere else. She told me how impressed my interviewers were with me and how much they think I'd be a great fit. I told her I'd let her know by the end of the week.
I emailed the NP I met with at UCSF this January who had encouraged me to apply for the fall. She said that they had 3x the number of applicants this year for the master's program. That means my chances of getting in are much slimmer. But I really want to go back to SF to work and start school, or at least work. Or maybe I just stay here in Atlanta. I'm enjoying myself at this point.
Why must decisions be so hard? Why do I have to be given choices, because many people don't get to choose. Why am I thinking about turning down an offer that many of my classmates would snatch up in a heart beat? Why don't I know what I want for sure? I just know what I think I want. And that isn't even guaranteed...
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