grrr

I've done something I didn't think possible. Something I don't want and yet I do. How can I inflict such pain to another and to myself? Still, I felt it necessary.

I feel betrayed and thus I feel I betrayed. It's like deja-vu, and yet somehow less severe. I don't have a clue of the outcome. I don't really know how to proceed. Still, I feel it necessary.

Once I'm faced with loss, I want to return to what I had. Yet I remind myself of the internal struggle and the emotional torment and I can't. I don't know if I'm going to lose it all. Still, I feel it necessary.

This is so painful. It's the risk I took, being in relationship. It can bring so much joy and so much hurt. Still, I feel it necessary.

Grrr.