crack

It's over- we decided that yesterday.  But in a small way it was over before it started.  I mean that to say that it was never really what it could be.

Naturally, it makes me sad.  This is going to hurt and be messy.  It's going to continue to make me wonder why I couldn't "soften" and give it a chance to be.  I'll play the what-if game in my mind.  And yet, I know that I can't "soften".

Strangely, it makes me happy.  All the stress and pain I've caused you can now dissipate.  You can move on and find someone else who allows it to be all it can be.  You won't have to wait.

We talk about leaving the door open a crack.  I think that's a nice thing to say- it eases our hearts when they haven't fully given up yet.  But, we can't let that crack get in the way.  We must pursue truth and what our hearts truly desire.