running

I love to run. At various times in my life, I've been a competitive runner. I went for a run today with a group and I didn't feel competitive at all. It was a very hilly 5 miles that we ran, and you'd think that having moved from the city of hills that I'd be up for it. But given some time off from training with the move and I lost whatever I had pretty quickly. That's frustrating for the inner competitor. I'm not used to bringing up the rear.

I'm testing a pair of shoes for Nike right now. I just got them yesterday and it feels pretty special to be running in shoes that aren't released to the public yet. Part of the deal is that I have to log a certain number of miles in them each week. At the time I signed up to be a tester, I was running that minimum and more no problem. Right now, I've not been running the minimum. So these shoes are going to help push me. I'm really looking forward to training for a race again.

Running in groups is a good thing for me. It keeps me in check. Gives me enough incentive to push myself, but there's always someone who runs faster, longer, and competes more often. I've come to accept this and am humbled by it. Because let's face it- my life goal is not to be a runner.

A friend of mine (who's really more of my little brother because his family lived with mine for a while) left today for Army bootcamp. I was thinking as I was running up a big hill tonight how sad it would be if I showed up to bootcamp today. I know it's a battle of the mind as much as it is a battle of the physical, but I don't know if I have it in me right now. Physically I'm tired. Emotionally I'm tired. But, I'd have something to focus on and the inner competitor would probably take over. So maybe I'd do okay.

I think my life is this way, too. There's always going to be someone to look up to. To be amazed at all they've got going on in their life. But in the same way that I'm not setting out to be a great runner, I'm also not setting out to be like the next person. The "hills" and "bootcamps" of life come, but they are something to stay focused through and the drive to finish well will take over.